In Theory
I’m getting very tired of being “good on paper.”
Here’s the list of the qualities I have and things my mere presence accomplishes, according to some women I’ve recently met:
- I’m sweet
- I’m smart
- I’m witty
- I’m a good listener
- I’m easy to talk to
- I’m fun to talk to
- I’m good at communicating what’s on my mind
- I’m physically attractive
- I make people feel safe and secure
- I’m charming
- I’m good with words
- I can find common ground with just about anyone
- I have pretty much every quality she wants in a guy, and none that she doesn’t
- I’m someone she wants to feel “that way” about
I’ve been told all of these things, recently, in the midst of the “but I didn’t feel that spark” conversation.
I’m good in theory. And because of that, I’ve been going on a fair number of first dates this spring and summer — five first dates between Memorial Day weekend and the 4th of July. Now, granted, the fifth one won’t actually happen until tomorrow. And there’s still the lingering possibility of a third date with one of these women, and once it’s been quite obvious, to everyone, that the surface compatibilities were just that — on the surface. But the other two provided me with the list above — in the process of informing me that I’m electricity challenged.
And so I’ll be off tomorrow night to do it again, to go on a first date with someone who’s already telling me some of the same things on that list: the way with words, the fun to talk to, the sweet, the smart. And I’m willing to bet that after tomorrow night, more of the list will be there, but so will that but.
And I’m getting tired of it.





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